RIP Chappy! A rich story, deep in wisdom which is delivered with specificity and authority. Great work Layne. I aspire to write story's as good as this.
Fantastic, this is a nearly flawless story in my eyes. So many memorable lines and clever phrases - the last one that sticks in my mind was “leading horses to water for -number- years”. You really did a great job with this
The only constructive point I could offer is probably just my own fault, because I had to put the story down for a few seconds at a time and answer a question or something. It got a little confusing who’s thoughts or dialogue I was reading a few times. But I think that was on me lol
Really nice job! Terrific writing throughout. Alcohol is a wild thing, better off avoided. A melancholic feel to this story but little moments of comedy that I really liked.
"He ended up threading a plastic tube through the air vent in his dashboard and down into the wiper fluid tank. After draining the thing out as well as he could, he filled it back up with hundred proof vodka."
Laughed so hard at that scene.
"At first you just call it rest and act like you deserve it. Tell yourself it’s what you need. Before you know it, the inertia takes hold and you’re in a real rut."
Man this can be applied to so many things, but the feeling of this taking hold of you is something I never want to feel again. I will find any way I can to avoid that suck into the rut.
I so appreciate you taking the time to read and comment! I met a guy who actually did that with his wiper fluid tank. I hoped that even if alcohol isn’t the issue that a reader is dealing with, we can all appreciate the ways that our patterns of avoidance can slowly destroy us. I really wanted to highlight the importance of having a purpose, of continuing to move forward even when life is kicking your ass. Especially then.
Again, thank you kindly. I’ll be returning the favor•
I truly thank you for giving the story your time and for commenting. I am going to go back through and see if I can spot some places that could use clarification. I have worked in the mental health field for twenty years so I've collected a lot of experiences and wisdom and was trying to distill some of it into this story. I think that you are right about the point of view confusion. It's one of those things where I know what is supposed to be going on so I don't always give enough indicators to someone who is coming to the story and characters for the first time. I look forward to reading through some of your work!
RIP Chappy! A rich story, deep in wisdom which is delivered with specificity and authority. Great work Layne. I aspire to write story's as good as this.
Very kind of you! My favorite stories contain pearls of wisdom and perspective, but aren't preachy. Always trying to strike that balance.
Fantastic, this is a nearly flawless story in my eyes. So many memorable lines and clever phrases - the last one that sticks in my mind was “leading horses to water for -number- years”. You really did a great job with this
The only constructive point I could offer is probably just my own fault, because I had to put the story down for a few seconds at a time and answer a question or something. It got a little confusing who’s thoughts or dialogue I was reading a few times. But I think that was on me lol
Really nice job! Terrific writing throughout. Alcohol is a wild thing, better off avoided. A melancholic feel to this story but little moments of comedy that I really liked.
"He ended up threading a plastic tube through the air vent in his dashboard and down into the wiper fluid tank. After draining the thing out as well as he could, he filled it back up with hundred proof vodka."
Laughed so hard at that scene.
"At first you just call it rest and act like you deserve it. Tell yourself it’s what you need. Before you know it, the inertia takes hold and you’re in a real rut."
Man this can be applied to so many things, but the feeling of this taking hold of you is something I never want to feel again. I will find any way I can to avoid that suck into the rut.
I so appreciate you taking the time to read and comment! I met a guy who actually did that with his wiper fluid tank. I hoped that even if alcohol isn’t the issue that a reader is dealing with, we can all appreciate the ways that our patterns of avoidance can slowly destroy us. I really wanted to highlight the importance of having a purpose, of continuing to move forward even when life is kicking your ass. Especially then.
Again, thank you kindly. I’ll be returning the favor•
I truly thank you for giving the story your time and for commenting. I am going to go back through and see if I can spot some places that could use clarification. I have worked in the mental health field for twenty years so I've collected a lot of experiences and wisdom and was trying to distill some of it into this story. I think that you are right about the point of view confusion. It's one of those things where I know what is supposed to be going on so I don't always give enough indicators to someone who is coming to the story and characters for the first time. I look forward to reading through some of your work!
Thanks! I really appreciate it. If there is any advice, I'm open to it•